


where we take this road

by nutellamuffin



Category: Chronicles of Narnia (Movies), Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis
Genre: 5 Times, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Kinda, Light Angst, Not A Fix-It, POV Caspian (Narnia), POV Peter Pevensie, POV Third Person, Sad Ending, but it's cute, i fixed their missing bromance is what i did, i would die for them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:26:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27171046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nutellamuffin/pseuds/nutellamuffin
Summary: caspian and peter, in five parts.
Relationships: Caspian/Peter Pevensie
Comments: 6
Kudos: 17





	where we take this road

**Author's Note:**

> thank you once again to .MostlyFandomTrash for betareading this, she encourages me to write about these dorks when i really need to and overall just lets me scream without a word of protest. a real one. i love u, bitch. and i ain’t ever gonna stop loving u. (bitch.)  
> title is from already gone by sleeping at last.

**_i._ **

caspian was a mess. but he was as beautiful of a mess as messes came. and peter knew this, he knew this as he held shaking hands and he knew this as he saw the conflict in the chocolate brown eyes he loved with all his heart. he knew this as he brushed the damp hair away from his forehead when he woke up wanting to run, and he knew this as he felt his tornado-whirlwind-earthquake soul beneath his ear when he listened to his heartbeat.

peter knew this.

he had always known this.

and it hadn’t changed a thing.

peter was made of secrets. he was made of all the secrets lying beneath his skin, he was made of all the secrets he held in his heart. he was made of all the secrets he told caspian. and he was made of the secrets he never said at all. he was full of secrets, but one must never think that he was full of lies, for peter had told caspian far too many truths for that to ever be one of them.

peter was the most beautiful secret caspian had the pleasure of knowing.

and it didn’t matter to him that there were some things he would never know.

* * *

**_ii._ **

caspian says peter is everything to him and peter believes him. (what else was there to believe? what was his reason not to? who else did caspian have?) he threads his fingers through his tree-bark hair and places his hand over his heart where his tornado-whirlwind-earthquake soul lies, and shows him just how much he believes him.

caspian knows peter is much more than the kingly smile he wears around everyone he knows, and he wants peter to realize that. and so he sits with him after someone has asked something else of him, and he takes his hand. he sits in silence with him until he finds the words, and he listens. (sometimes he doesn’t. caspian listens then, too. just in case.)

* * *

**_iii._ **

caspian does not always wear his sword at his hip, but peter knows he is always fighting. he is fighting the memories that haunt the moments when he should be allowed to dream. he is fighting the voice in the back of his head that tells him nothing he does will ever be enough to fix what has been. he is fighting with the people who will not change their ways, fighting his way through strategizing the next meeting before it even starts. caspian is not a fighter. but the war in his mind never ends.

peter has never gotten the rest he deserves in his life, and caspian just wants him to be able to go to sleep. he did not rest when he was all his mother and his siblings had. he did not rest when the kingdom needed a ruler and he was a child willing to be one. he did not rest when he had to grow up too fast, only to grow up properly, and then be shoved back into a body that had not grown up at all. (yet it wore the world on its shoulders.) caspian wants him to know he can sleep now. and even though he can, he does not.

* * *

**_iv._ **

somehow they both know they are beautiful. or perhaps they don’t. but they still find a way to show each other. caspian shows peter he is beautiful in the arch of his spine and his golden hair, in the dip of his collarbone and the arches of his fingers, in the tip of his nose and the curve of his adam’s apple and everything around it. peter shows caspian is beautiful in the way that he thinks, in his helping hands, in the way that he is almost always wielding his sword but never uses it, in the way that he has never put himself first and there is even a beauty to that darkness.

whether they are more beautiful together or on their own is up to who you ask. but all they know is that cornelius has said caspian has not smiled like that in his entire life, and edmund says that peter’s shoulders have never been more weightless, and the world sings when they hold each other’s hands. caspian’s tornado-whirlwind-earthquake soul does not twist his emotions as much, and peter’s web of secrets is not so secret anymore.

who are we to decide?

* * *

**_v._ **

he whispers an i love you into his mouth in the dead of night and he leaves, he leaves over and over and over again and yet when he leaves for the last time, disappearing into the tree trunk, caspian isn’t ready.

he has left his bedroom night after night after night and yet when he goes to disappear again, caspian breaks their vow of keeping those nights private and rushes forward to hold him for the last time. 

and he wants to say something like  _ you can’t leave me _ but he knows he can’t. (because everyone else has left him. because he didn’t have a say in  _ their _ disappearance. because he knows he won’t have a say in peter’s.)

he won’t cry. he cannot cry. but peter is there to brush his tears away before they even come, and somehow that just makes caspian want to cry harder, and his tornado-whirlwind-earthquake soul screams. 

peter wants to tell him he won’t leave, it’ll be just another night where caspian has woken ready to run and fight and never look back and he doesn’t  _ have _ to, because peter isn’t leaving.

but that would be a lie. and peter does not have a lie inside him to tell. and so he says nothing at all, and squeezes caspian tight. 

he whispers an i love you into his ear instead of his mouth, and he leaves.

**Author's Note:**

> IM GONNA FIX IT DON’T WORRY IM GONNA FIX IT I SWEAR listen waking light came on when i was writing this and then morning came on after it and THEN lost cause came on and it all just spiralled from there i’m sorry for this


End file.
